1
00:02:52,906 --> 00:02:54,841
So, what is this about?

2
00:02:54,908 --> 00:02:58,878
-No idea. -(Ben sighs) BEN: But it's not an exorcism?

3
00:02:58,945 --> 00:03:09,455
His Eminence said she'll be the scariest woman that we've ever met. -Seriously? -I don't know. He chuckled. BEN: So, uh, how many days before you're cooked?

4
00:03:09,522 --> 00:03:13,393
18 days. And we can't convince you to give it up?

5
00:03:14,394 --> 00:03:19,899
You will never get laid again. That's not what I hear. Priests do pretty well.

6
00:03:21,701 --> 00:03:24,604
I'm sorry. That's a weird thing to say.

7
00:03:25,672 --> 00:03:34,881
Thank you for coming in early. This is Ms. Anita Iota. And these are our assessors, David, Kristen...

8
00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:42,689
-Ben. -MARX: Ben. ANITA: Hello. So, uh, Ms. Iota, how can we help you?

9
00:03:42,755 --> 00:03:45,491
We need your advice. We? Who's we?

10
00:03:45,558 --> 00:03:48,828
The IRS. (thunder crashes)

11
00:04:05,411 --> 00:04:07,347
Is the Church being audited?

12
00:04:07,413 --> 00:04:08,681
Why? Should it be?

13
00:04:09,616 --> 00:04:26,032
An IRS joke. I'm sure the Catholic Church is using every penny of its substantial funds for altruistic purposes. Yeah, except for the lawsuits. Ms. Iota has requested the Church form a new opinion on an organization applying for federal recognition as a religion. For tax-exempt purposes?

14
00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:32,305
-Yes. -ANITA: As part of our process, we consider the opinions of neighboring federally recognized religions. What new religion?

15
00:04:32,372 --> 00:04:33,940
The New Ministry of Satan.

16
00:04:36,909 --> 00:04:42,982
The New Ministry? There's an old one? -Several. -And what does the IRS base its decision on?

17
00:04:43,049 --> 00:04:44,951
Four criteria.

18
00:04:46,686 --> 00:05:07,073
One: The organization must be operated exclusively for worshipping a deity or deities. The nature of that deity is not in question. It is that the organization actually believes in it. Two: The net earnings may not inure to the benefit of one person. Three: The organization's purposes may not be illegal.

19
00:05:08,775 --> 00:05:10,309
Are you texting?

20
00:05:10,376 --> 00:05:26,526
No, it's just how she take notes. ANITA: Finally, four: No substantial part of the church's activity should be about influencing legislation or politics. -Really? -MARX: Well, I would admit that criteria is more honored in the breach. So that's all you have to do to become a religion?

21
00:05:26,592 --> 00:05:31,364
ANITA: And some combination of a creed, history, literature and place of worship.

22
00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:35,735
So you want us to stop it from being tax-exempt?

23
00:05:35,802 --> 00:05:46,379
We don't determine that. But it would be helpful if you could guide the IRS to see that it doesn't deserve tax-exempt status. What if they actually believe in Satan?

24
00:05:46,446 --> 00:05:56,122
MARX: Belief is the greatest hurdle to tax-exempt status, but it's not the only hurdle. Is this church involved in politics, or can it be implied that it is?

25
00:05:56,189 --> 00:06:09,402
You mean unlike the Catholic Church? MARX: The key is to not look biased against their beliefs. We have to use the language of the IRS to stop this church. So, uh, where is this church?

26
00:06:10,169 --> 00:06:16,642
(train rattling) (siren whooping in distance) (horns honking)

27
00:06:18,111 --> 00:06:23,116
That doesn't look like the Ministry of Satan. Yeah, I'd call that hiding your light under a bushel.

28
00:06:25,551 --> 00:06:27,086
-What? Is that blasphemous? -Why don't you let me do the talking?

29
00:06:27,153 --> 00:06:28,888
You afraid they're gonna convert us?

30
00:06:28,955 --> 00:06:30,723
-(window slides open) -MAN: What do you need?

31
00:06:34,026 --> 00:06:39,465
Uh, we're here at the request of the Internal Revenue Service. (chuckling): Oh, right. Uh, be right down.

32
00:06:40,466 --> 00:06:43,936
Hi. Graham Lucian, chief of operations. You the Catholic team?

33
00:06:44,003 --> 00:06:59,886
Yes, uh, David, Kristen and Ben. Step into my office, please. Good to meet you guys. We've already had the, uh, Presbyterians and the Mormons. Good guys. They said they'd pray for us. I said I'd pray for them, too. -I think that freaked them out. -You pray a lot?

34
00:06:59,952 --> 00:07:23,776
Three times a day: morning, noon and night. -Are they answered? -Oh, yeah. Yeah. Our Father Below controls the world, so I get exactly what I want. -Yeah, like what? -Oh... (sighs) My enemies harmed, uh, no gray hair, no acne, parking spaces. -Are your prayers answered? -I don't pray. Really? Must be the New Catholicism. Do you believe in Satan?

35
00:07:23,843 --> 00:07:26,779
(chuckling): Wow, you guys really jump into it, huh?

36
00:07:26,846 --> 00:07:34,053
Uh, yeah, but I wouldn't call it belief. I know Satan. Hmm. How do you know him?

37
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:36,923
(sighs) Do you guys want a drink?

38
00:07:36,989 --> 00:07:39,192
No, we're good. How do you know Satan?

39
00:07:39,258 --> 00:07:48,067
The same way you know Jesus. He just makes sense to you, describes the world to you. Satan does the same for me. Except not you.

40
00:07:50,536 --> 00:07:52,138
Is this your formal place of worship?

41
00:07:52,205 --> 00:07:59,145
No, no. God, this is the front office. We've only been up and running six months. Temple's in the back. Come on.

42
00:08:05,685 --> 00:08:07,787
So, what are you doing?

43
00:08:07,854 --> 00:08:09,789
-Uh, filling orders. -Yeah?

44
00:08:09,856 --> 00:08:11,090
-Mm-hmm. -You mind if I see?

45
00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:13,492
Uh, sure. How much are these?

46
00:08:13,559 --> 00:08:19,832
INTERN: Those are all 35. -Are they popular? -Oh, yeah. More so at Christmas. Mm. So this is a big moneymaker?

47
00:08:21,067 --> 00:08:24,003
INTERN: Our cost is about six bucks. So... you tell me.

48
00:08:27,306 --> 00:08:28,808
Which one is the favorite?

49
00:08:28,875 --> 00:08:32,010
Mm... This one.

50
00:08:37,817 --> 00:08:42,221
We're most proud of our statue of Baphomet. So this is your established place of worship?

51
00:08:42,288 --> 00:08:55,001
Yes. One of the IRS requirements. You seem very aware of what we need. GRAHAM: Well, I've been reading the IRS literature. Have to clear that tax-exempt bar. -Do you have regular service? -We do. When?

52
00:08:56,335 --> 00:08:59,839
Friday, 8:00 p.m. Join us. A distinct membership?

53
00:08:59,906 --> 00:09:04,277
Oh, we doubled our membership in, uh, two months. Yeah, from what to what?

54
00:09:04,343 --> 00:09:06,979
-I'd have to check those numbers. -Guess.

55
00:09:07,980 --> 00:09:17,857
Started with eight, and now we have 12. Not much of a congregation. It's as many as Christ had. And here is some of our literature. KRISTEN: What's your creed?

56
00:09:17,924 --> 00:09:32,338
Do what you want unless it hurts someone. If someone presents themselves as your adversary, destroy them. And look for rewards now, not after. -Satan, all glory. -"Destroy them"? How? Not in any way that would break the laws of the United States.

57
00:09:33,906 --> 00:09:35,875
Tell me how you pray to Satan.

58
00:09:37,710 --> 00:09:48,955
Oh, Father Below, lend me your power to do what I want to who I want, and, uh... take away all my regrets, burning them in your hellfire, and... et cetera, et cetera.

59
00:09:50,056 --> 00:09:55,161
Not much of a prayer. Well, I'm working on it. This is a scam, isn't it?

60
00:09:55,227 --> 00:10:08,107
Oh, ye of little faith. No more a scam than your Church. BEN: Let me ask you a question. If this church doesn't really believe in Satan and all they're doing is just selling T-shirts, then aren't they just harmless?

61
00:10:08,174 --> 00:10:12,611
Yeah, possibly. Let's collect our data and brief His Eminence.

62
00:10:14,213 --> 00:10:40,272
The exorcism will be spread over three nights, six hours every night. You'll want to quit, but quitting is not an option. I won't quit, Father. I never do. THUNDERLAND: This is the final rite of exorcism. It is intense, and it's grueling. -But in the end, I'll be clean? -Or dead. Whoa. That's a bit melodramatic. THUNDERLAND: I will be performing the rite. We'll start tonight.

63
00:10:42,041 --> 00:10:45,745
But I need you to sign this consent form.

64
00:10:47,179 --> 00:10:49,682
It acknowledges the possible dangers.

65
00:10:50,716 --> 00:10:54,420
Can I have a minute to read this and consult with my spiritual counselor?

66
00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:59,358
I need your answer by the time I leave, or I'm moving on to the next exorcism.

67
00:11:01,827 --> 00:11:08,367
-(door closes) -Ouch. Not a lot of Christian love there. Oh, he sees through you.

68
00:11:13,372 --> 00:11:16,008
-What is that? -Hmm?

69
00:11:16,075 --> 00:11:17,443
Oh.

70
00:11:21,280 --> 00:11:22,748
LELAND: Where is this place?

71
00:11:22,815 --> 00:11:24,717
DAVID: The address is on the back.

72
00:11:25,851 --> 00:11:30,189
They're looking for new members. This is blasphemy. What are you smiling about?

73
00:11:30,256 --> 00:11:45,237
These idiots don't believe in Satan. They're just co-opting the Devil to get press and piss off religious people. And tax-exempt status. Sons of bitches. These people should be strung up by their toes, their throats slit and the blood poured on an altar. How do you know they don't believe?

74
00:11:45,304 --> 00:11:53,212
Look at this. "We're not a time-share." Look at these pictures. Kids, picnics. "Satan cares about your future." What, are they insane?

75
00:11:53,279 --> 00:11:55,047
What is belief in Satan about?

76
00:11:55,114 --> 00:12:07,226
Power. Rejection of authority. Manipulation. Violence. Disgust with people like you. This guy, this dick-- Graham-- he doesn't care about any of that. He's just using it.

77
00:12:11,397 --> 00:12:15,234
Here, go ahead. Tell that priest I'm ready.

78
00:12:17,136 --> 00:12:29,215
When you tell me that you're fine and I know that you're not, it makes me feel confused about our relationship. -Yeah, but that's because I am fine. -KURT: Kristen. Mirroring.

79
00:12:31,317 --> 00:12:41,127
When I say I'm fine even though you know I'm not fine, it makes you confused in our relationship. -Is that what you're saying? -Yes. And would you like to add anything to that?

80
00:12:41,193 --> 00:12:54,507
(sighs) No. Good. Kristen, your turn. When you keep asking me, "Are you fine?" even though I am fine, it makes me think that you feel guilty about leaving your family for six months out of the year. -Kristen. -What?

81
00:12:54,573 --> 00:12:56,142
He can speak his truth, I can't speak mine?

82
00:12:56,208 --> 00:13:06,318
As long as it's not score settling. Oh, my gosh. Can we just talk, Andy? -Yeah, we haven't been talking. -Well, then talk to me now. -What is the problem? -KURT: You know, I think it's best to stick with the mirror exercise. Are you sleeping with someone?

83
00:13:07,353 --> 00:13:12,791
Well, good. The truth exercise. Kurt, shh.

84
00:13:15,327 --> 00:13:18,564
No, I'm not sleeping with anyone. Not Ben?

85
00:13:19,565 --> 00:13:22,234
(scoffs): What? No. Of course not.

86
00:13:23,369 --> 00:13:25,104
Not David?

87
00:13:26,105 --> 00:13:31,877
No. He's becoming a priest. Uh... I would never.

88
00:13:33,512 --> 00:13:35,381
Are you sleeping with anyone?

89
00:13:35,447 --> 00:13:41,253
Kristen, look at me and tell me that you're not sleeping with David.

90
00:13:53,132 --> 00:13:58,837
Andy, I-I shouldn't have to tell you anything. You should trust me as I trust you.

91
00:13:59,972 --> 00:14:03,042
KURT: Okay. Good session.

92
00:14:05,177 --> 00:14:09,281
Andy, would you excuse, um, us for-for just a minute?

93
00:14:11,617 --> 00:14:17,189
I thought that went well. Kurt, I'm hallucinating again. Are you still taking the risperidone?

94
00:14:17,256 --> 00:14:23,429
Yeah, two a night. -And there's no progress? -No. If-if anything, it's-it's worse. Well...

95
00:14:24,630 --> 00:14:27,066
I think I should prescribe something else.

96
00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:45,284
-THUNDERLAND: Lord have mercy. Christ have mercy. -(groaning) God, the Father in heaven... God, the Son, Redeemer of the world... Stop. I'm on fire. (panting): I need some water. My body is on fire. Holy Mary, pray for us. Holy Mother of God, Holy Virgin.

97
00:14:47,519 --> 00:14:50,356
(deep, demonic voice): Do you really believe that Mary was a virgin?

98
00:14:50,422 --> 00:15:09,541
(chuckles) That whore. THUNDERLAND: All holy saints of God... (high-pitched voice): Stop it. Stop it, please. You're hurting me. Holy Lord, Almighty Father... (old woman's voice): She said stop. You do not know the power you provoke. THUNDERLAND: Apostate tyrant to the flames of hell. -(growling) -All holy saints of God...

99
00:15:31,130 --> 00:15:33,065
Are you all right, David?

100
00:15:34,566 --> 00:15:40,072
No. He couldn't fake that, could he?

101
00:15:40,139 --> 00:15:42,341
Fake that?

102
00:15:42,408 --> 00:15:43,976
No.

103
00:15:45,010 --> 00:15:48,480
He's sleeping now. We'll return tomorrow.

104
00:16:23,582 --> 00:16:35,728
Hey. -Waiting on Ben? -Uh-huh. Um, real quick, Kristen. I'm gonna need your help tonight. Okay. With what?

105
00:16:35,794 --> 00:16:37,696
Leland's exorcism.

106
00:16:38,697 --> 00:16:40,165
Are you kidding?

107
00:16:40,232 --> 00:16:59,351
-Why? -Something changed. I don't know what. It... You were talking about this adrenaline jolt with Raymond Strand. -Hysterical strength. -Right. I think there's something like that here. He launched a priest against a wall. He launched...?

108
00:16:59,418 --> 00:17:03,288
He kicked a priest, who flew eight feet across the room.

109
00:17:04,289 --> 00:17:09,461
And there were, uh, these voices coming out of him.

110
00:17:11,763 --> 00:17:14,532
Do you think Leland's starting to take his exorcism seriously?

111
00:17:14,599 --> 00:17:19,070
No, I... I think God is.

112
00:17:21,607 --> 00:17:43,395
Monthly real estate rental: $23,000 a month. Three full-time employees: $9,000 a month total. Not much money in Satanism. Not yet, but their, uh, T-shirt sales are up 20% each month. And their Christmas sales should be up 80% over last year. So you think the best way of stopping them is criteria number two, they're making money?

113
00:17:43,462 --> 00:18:17,429
Yeah. I mean, this operating officer has tripled his business over the last year. I agree. I have something I want you to hear. This came in this morning. MAN (recorded): I saw a beast come out of the sea with ten horns and seven heads. (unearthly yowling) It was granted authority over every tribe, people, tongue, nation. And all that were on earth worshipped the Beast. I am Bishop Jim from the New Ministry, and this is your holy scripture and doctrine. It is ours as well. Praise Satan.

114
00:18:18,564 --> 00:18:24,570
This sounds like someone who believes. Find out if this Bishop Jim is faking it or not.

115
00:18:33,812 --> 00:18:36,215
We're here to see Bishop Jim.

116
00:18:39,818 --> 00:18:46,425
Hey, thanks for coming. Jim wanted to meet you. (indistinct chanting in other room) Are you having services here tonight?

117
00:18:46,492 --> 00:18:52,431
Yeah, back there. That's Iris. -Nice lady. -Seems it.

118
00:18:53,699 --> 00:19:00,639
Hey, the Catholic Church could do a hell of a lot better with altar girls like her. Note taken.

119
00:19:01,807 --> 00:19:08,814
CHANTING VOICE (over speaker): You grant us indulgence in our carnal desires... Wow. Good production values.

120
00:19:09,815 --> 00:19:12,384
Jim is the Sister Aimee of Satanism.

121
00:19:14,353 --> 00:19:31,770
Hail Satan. CHANTING VOICE: Giver of the fruit of free will that delivered us from blind ignorance and allegiance. -JIM: Hail Satan. -WORSHIPPERS: Hail Satan. CHANTING VOICE: You grant us indulgence in our carnal desires. WORSHIPPERS: Hail Satan. Jim. You got a minute?

122
00:19:31,837 --> 00:19:46,518
Ah. These are the Catholic assessors. Yes. Hello, David, Kristen, Ben. We didn't want to, uh, interrupt your services. Oh. No, no. This is just a dress rehearsal. Ooh. Can I see?

123
00:19:48,387 --> 00:19:49,922
Sure.

124
00:19:51,590 --> 00:19:54,760
Oh, Saint Christopher. Hmm? Why him?

125
00:19:54,826 --> 00:20:09,975
-Why do you think? -Large man. Wanted to serve the greatest king, so he served my Father Below. Until he realized Satan feared God, so he wasn't the greatest. JIM (laughs): How things have changed. If Christopher were alive today, who would he serve?

126
00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:11,743
-You tell me. -How did we kill him again?

127
00:20:11,810 --> 00:20:13,412
Burning metal rods up his ass, right?

128
00:20:13,478 --> 00:20:21,820
He resisted. All he had to do was condemn God, but he resisted. That's power. Really? Who would you rather be?

129
00:20:21,887 --> 00:20:34,533
The man having burning rods stuck up his ass or the man putting them there? -DAVID: Do you, uh, pray to Satan? -JIM: All the time. Ask me about our creed. I know the IRS cares about our creed.

130
00:20:37,603 --> 00:20:39,805
You find these religious debates boring, too?

131
00:20:39,871 --> 00:20:44,009
Jim could go on for hours and hours. What do you want out of this?

132
00:20:45,611 --> 00:20:47,546
Is this some kind of IRS trap?

133
00:20:47,613 --> 00:21:06,765
Of course. Look, I believe in the real Satan. Right? Not some cute little horned papier-mâché doll. I believe in force, a tide of power. -Satan as metaphor? -No, it's real. When you hate someone for cutting you off in traffic, is that real?

134
00:21:06,832 --> 00:21:12,904
If you're married and you flirt with someone, they brush up against you and you feel their erection, is that real?

135
00:21:12,971 --> 00:21:14,439
You think it's Satan?

136
00:21:14,506 --> 00:21:38,330
It's not God. God wants us to live castrated. But I look at you, and I see your nipples peeking through your blouse. That's not God. No, that's your imagination. (chuckles) Look, Satan loves female sexuality. He wants women to take charge. Ah, and yet, all I see is half-naked women here. I mean, for a phallic religion, it's not a lot of phalluses.

137
00:21:39,398 --> 00:21:43,368
Join us, you could change all of that. We still need a chair for the women's auxiliary.

138
00:21:44,536 --> 00:21:46,438
Am I funny?

139
00:21:46,505 --> 00:21:54,680
Yeah, yeah. Whenever I see white supremacists marching, or gamer boys trolling women online, or you, I always wonder, don't you guys have day jobs?

140
00:22:30,549 --> 00:22:32,918
ANDY: You still going out?

141
00:22:32,984 --> 00:22:35,020
Yeah. Work.

142
00:22:39,024 --> 00:22:44,663
I, uh, thought we'd have dinner together. Tomorrow's my last day. I already promised. Let's do it tomorrow.

143
00:22:48,734 --> 00:23:03,515
LELAND (groaning): God damn you. THUNDERLAND: May God arise. May His enemies be scattered. Please stop, stop, stop! -Please, please. -May His foes flee before Him -as smoke is blown away... -Fuck you. ...by the wind. (with English accent): You can't hurt him.

144
00:23:05,016 --> 00:23:18,530
(woman's voice): I am not deceived. (giggles) We are the deception. THUNDERLAND: Sancte Michael Archangele, defende nos in proelio... -(high-pitched laughing) -Holy Lord, Almighty Father of our Lord Jesus Christ... -(groaning) -Hold on to him!

145
00:23:23,568 --> 00:23:27,539
(Leland groaning) (Thunderland continues in Latin)

146
00:23:33,678 --> 00:23:57,068
THUNDERLAND: Saint Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle. Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the Devil. Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the Devil! O Prince of the Heavenly Father, by the power of God, cast into Hell all the evil spirits who prowl about the world -seeking the ruin of souls. -(panting) -(Thunderland continues in Latin) -(pained whimpering)

147
00:23:59,538 --> 00:24:13,451
THUNDERLAND: O Prince of the Heavenly Host, by the power of God, cast into Hell and all the evil spirits who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls. (panting) (Thunderland continues in Latin, voice distorted)

148
00:24:19,257 --> 00:24:21,893
No. No.

149
00:24:33,939 --> 00:24:35,574
(whispers): It's not real.

150
00:24:36,541 --> 00:24:51,923
(raspy squealing) (Thunderland continues in Latin) It's not real, it's not real... ...defende nos in proelio, contra nequitiam et insidias diaboli esto praesidium... (panting) (Thunderland continues in Latin)

151
00:25:06,872 --> 00:25:12,010
(engine starts) (sexy blues playing) Tequila.

152
00:25:20,852 --> 00:25:27,125
GRAHAM: What a coincidence. Hey. You know, I was just thinking about you.

153
00:25:28,927 --> 00:25:30,595
What?

154
00:25:32,163 --> 00:25:34,099
Are you following me?

155
00:25:35,133 --> 00:25:39,237
(sighs) Something like that. You trying to convert me?

156
00:25:39,304 --> 00:25:45,210
No. No, I don't really believe. And I don't think you do, either.

157
00:25:57,889 --> 00:26:01,993
(sighs) Let's go. Where?

158
00:26:21,413 --> 00:26:23,315
Get in.

159
00:26:27,319 --> 00:26:30,789
Lower your pants. No foreplay?

160
00:26:30,855 --> 00:26:33,158
Lower your pants.

161
00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:44,169
-You done this before? -What do you care?

162
00:26:44,235 --> 00:26:46,638
I'm just making small talk.

163
00:26:48,206 --> 00:26:52,110
No. So what is this about?

164
00:26:54,045 --> 00:26:56,081
What do you think?

165
00:27:01,686 --> 00:27:07,292
(moans) (both panting) (moaning)

166
00:27:13,298 --> 00:27:14,766
Ah.

167
00:28:41,286 --> 00:29:00,238
This is my advice. Go upstairs quietly, take a bath, wash every inch of you, then drain the water and take a shower. Gargle, get a trash bag, put all of those clothes in it, and tell nobody. I don't know what you think happened, Mom. I know what happened, honey. It was the same when I came home to Dad.

168
00:29:01,306 --> 00:29:13,318
Put some real garbage in the trash bag on top of your clothes. The trash is collected tomorrow. I'll take it out before Andy can see. I just... I had something on my panties. That's all. Something sticky?

169
00:29:16,488 --> 00:29:19,891
Listen, um, if you ever want to talk, I don't judge.

170
00:29:31,402 --> 00:29:33,505
Yeah, what do you need?

171
00:29:33,571 --> 00:29:46,151
-Help. -(Tchaikovsky's "March" from  The Nutcracker  playing) Too tired. Sheryl, you know I would only call if... Leland, you're no fun when you're needy. I'm not trying to be fun! Oh, God.

172
00:29:47,318 --> 00:29:49,954
You know this only works if it's transactional, right?

173
00:29:50,955 --> 00:29:52,423
What do you want?

174
00:29:53,458 --> 00:29:55,927
Oh, I don't know. What you got?

175
00:29:58,196 --> 00:30:00,031
Edward.

176
00:30:05,003 --> 00:30:09,474
Okay. Give me 20 minutes. Bring root beer.

177
00:30:39,370 --> 00:30:41,406
-(squeaks) -(water running)

178
00:31:40,999 --> 00:31:42,533
How did it go?

179
00:31:42,600 --> 00:31:47,171
Fine. Just your everyday exorcism.

180
00:31:53,144 --> 00:31:58,683
We made cookies. We missed you. Oh, I missed you, too. ANDY: Oh...

181
00:32:00,385 --> 00:32:02,420
Oh, I'm really glad.

182
00:32:15,199 --> 00:32:17,135
Hmm? What's wrong?

183
00:32:17,201 --> 00:32:19,237
Just something in the bathroom.

184
00:32:39,390 --> 00:32:57,742
Kurt, I'm hallucinating. I-I-I know. We're modifying your medication. No, I have to stop right now. No more olanzapine. No more, uh, amisulpride to alleviate the side effects of the olanzapine... Kristen, we agreed it was a good idea... I'm seeing monsters that aren't there. But coming down from the medication can be -just as dangerous... -Who are you working for?

185
00:32:57,809 --> 00:32:59,377
What?

186
00:33:00,478 --> 00:33:02,280
Are you sleeping with my mom?

187
00:33:02,347 --> 00:33:03,548
Is-is she having you do this?

188
00:33:03,614 --> 00:33:14,258
-What? -I don't believe you, Kurt. -Not anymore. -Kristen, this is paranoia. It would be paranoia if I had no justification. Sit down. Let's talk. No. You're fired. What?

189
00:33:14,325 --> 00:33:27,071
I am done coming here. That is not a good idea. It's the best idea I've had. You're in league with them. You gave my therapy notes to Leland. They were stolen. And now you're sleeping with my mom and you're feeding her information.

190
00:33:36,247 --> 00:33:42,487
-We need to talk. -(door opens) Okay, you tell me again how I'm paranoid. -I am on with my wife. -Sure!

191
00:33:43,488 --> 00:33:45,623
Listen. Talk to her.

192
00:33:48,359 --> 00:33:53,765
-("Mahna Mahna" by Cake playing) -(door closes) SHERYL: Hey, Leland. Hello?

193
00:33:57,635 --> 00:33:59,404
Leland?

194
00:34:01,372 --> 00:34:03,074
Hello?

195
00:34:03,141 --> 00:34:04,776
Where are you?

196
00:34:04,842 --> 00:34:08,746
Oh, God. Wha-What is going on?

197
00:34:09,880 --> 00:34:20,625
-I'm being hunted. -(sighs) Okay, come on. Get up. Let's go. I don't think I can stand. Oh, please don't be such a baby.

198
00:34:22,893 --> 00:34:27,598
(sighs) Fine. Come on. Come here. Let's go.

199
00:34:34,772 --> 00:34:42,746
Sit first. Sit. One leg up. The other leg. You okay?

200
00:34:42,813 --> 00:34:46,217
There you go. All right.

201
00:34:47,251 --> 00:34:48,485
-Drink this. -(can pops open)

202
00:35:04,936 --> 00:35:06,504
All right. More?

203
00:35:06,571 --> 00:35:11,776
The two women from the airport. -(shuddering) -(song ends)

204
00:35:19,217 --> 00:35:21,786
How many more nights of this?

205
00:35:21,853 --> 00:35:29,660
-What? -This... exorcism. One. Can you survive it?

206
00:35:30,761 --> 00:35:32,430
Yes.

207
00:35:33,464 --> 00:35:36,300
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Remember our agreement?

208
00:35:36,367 --> 00:35:41,138
I do. All righty, then. Rinse off.

209
00:35:58,422 --> 00:36:04,829
And you're saying this has nothing to do with your deep philosophical differences with the New Ministry of Satan?

210
00:36:04,896 --> 00:36:26,517
DAVID: Correct. The organization fails two of the IRS's four core criteria. It is not operated exclusively for worshipping Satan. -Uh, Kristen? -Yes. Six months before this "church" was formed, Graham Lucian and Jim Logger were selling these T-shirts. And they only created this pamphlet when they applied for tax-exempt status.

211
00:36:27,952 --> 00:36:34,225
Anything else? Yes. The, uh, net earnings are for one individual. Ben?

212
00:36:34,292 --> 00:36:48,439
Yeah, the, uh, bank statements show that the profits were pocketed by Graham Lucian, including the church collections. MARX: As you can see, our assessors are not biased, but they do conclude that the New Ministry of Satan does not live up to IRS standards.

213
00:36:50,608 --> 00:36:59,250
Well presented. The two gentlemen from this church have asked to be heard after your presentation. What?

214
00:36:59,317 --> 00:37:03,854
They've argued that your team is biased, and they wanted to offer their piece.

215
00:37:06,557 --> 00:37:09,293
Mr. Lucian, Mr. Logger, please come in.

216
00:37:12,997 --> 00:37:18,502
Oh, look who it is. Hi, Jesus. Gentlemen. Lady.

217
00:37:19,537 --> 00:37:21,639
BEN: So, what's the bias?

218
00:37:21,706 --> 00:37:28,679
I'm an atheist. I don't care who you worship. -And Kristen is an agnostic. -I know. We talked.

219
00:37:29,847 --> 00:37:31,015
Then what is the bias?

220
00:37:31,082 --> 00:37:32,984
Ah.

221
00:37:34,952 --> 00:37:38,756
Kristen slept with me last night, and now she wants to hurt me.

222
00:37:42,860 --> 00:37:44,428
MARX: Really?

223
00:37:44,495 --> 00:37:50,334
Well, that's an original way to go. Kristen, any response?

224
00:37:55,873 --> 00:37:56,907
Is this not true?

225
00:37:56,974 --> 00:37:58,542
Oh, are you kidding me?

226
00:37:58,609 --> 00:38:00,578
I would rather sleep with Satan himself.

227
00:38:03,547 --> 00:38:08,819
You are such a liar. KRISTEN: What do you want me to do? Swear on a stack of Bibles or the Satanic Bible?

228
00:38:08,886 --> 00:38:14,358
You tell me. Okay. I think we're done here. Thank you, gentlemen.

229
00:38:20,031 --> 00:38:27,938
Um, we're not. Satan isn't. He's coming for you. All three of you.

230
00:38:30,141 --> 00:38:31,876
Take care.

231
00:38:33,911 --> 00:38:42,053
Well, that proves one thing. No matter how powerful Satan and God are, the IRS is stronger.

232
00:38:43,988 --> 00:39:22,593
-Please, no. Please stop it. -THUNDERLAND: May God arise. May His enemies be scattered. May His foes flee! Help me, Satan. Deliver me. (gasps) (high-pitched voice): He is on your side. (giggles) (old man's voice): I will be delivered. (chuckles) THUNDERLAND: May His foes flee before Him. As smoke is blown away by the wind, may you blow them away. -(retches) -O Prince of the Heavenly Host, by the power of God, cast into Hell and all the evil spirits who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls. (Thunderland continues in Latin)

233
00:39:30,167 --> 00:39:41,979
I believe in God, the Father Almighty. THUNDERLAND and LELAND: Creator of heaven and earth, and in Jesus Christ. THUNDERLAND: Who was conceived by the Holy Spirit. (crying) Do you renounce the Devil and all his works?

234
00:39:42,046 --> 00:39:52,022
-I do. -(crying): I do. THUNDERLAND: Do you tell the Devil that he no longer has power over you because you no longer live in his kingdom of darkness?

235
00:39:53,057 --> 00:39:58,829
-(gasps) I do. -LELAND: I do. THUNDERLAND: Do you claim the protecting power of God?

236
00:40:03,601 --> 00:40:30,694
(laughing): I am a new man. Father, you did it. You have given me a fresh start. I can't thank you enough. Thank you. Thank you. It's not over yet. You need to pray every night. Here is my own personal rosary. LELAND: Oh, my God. That is so sweet of you. David, look. I am so blessed. But I hope that David will remain my spiritual adviser. I would advise it.

237
00:40:43,741 --> 00:40:45,876
Kristen?

238
00:40:47,912 --> 00:40:49,580
Hello?

239
00:40:50,648 --> 00:40:51,916
Kristen?

240
00:40:53,517 --> 00:40:55,219
Are you all right?

241
00:40:59,723 --> 00:41:01,759
Have you been in there all this time?

242
00:41:05,529 --> 00:41:07,064
Are you okay?

243
00:41:08,699 --> 00:41:11,035
I am.

244
00:41:30,154 --> 00:41:32,623
Did that one get to you?

245
00:41:32,690 --> 00:41:34,792
What one?

246
00:41:34,859 --> 00:41:35,893
The exorcism.

247
00:41:36,927 --> 00:41:42,900
I lost you in the middle of it. I was wondering if you were done with this job.

248
00:41:44,668 --> 00:41:46,770
No, I'm just getting started.

249
00:41:50,241 --> 00:41:57,681
Can I ask you... If you don't believe in God, can an exorcism work on you?

250
00:41:57,748 --> 00:42:12,029
Sure. God exists despite what any individual thinks. Right, but for a placebo to work, a patient has to believe in the drug. Yes, but... an exorcism isn't a placebo. (chuckling): That's where you and I disagree.

251
00:42:15,699 --> 00:42:17,034
Oh, wow.

252
00:42:18,736 --> 00:42:21,739
I don't think I've ever seen the stars like this in the city.

253
00:42:22,806 --> 00:42:24,842
New moon.

254
00:42:27,845 --> 00:42:32,249
Oh, my gosh. My husband leaves tonight. When?

255
00:42:32,316 --> 00:42:35,619
Ten minutes. Oh, you better hurry, huh?

256
00:42:35,686 --> 00:42:39,056
Sorry. Uh, hey.

257
00:42:41,058 --> 00:42:42,092
Thanks for being here.

258
00:42:57,007 --> 00:42:58,575
Hey.

259
00:42:59,977 --> 00:43:04,949
Just wanted to say goodbye. Your Uber is outside. -Thanks. -Yeah.

260
00:43:08,152 --> 00:43:12,723
I'm sure Kristen had to work late. -Yeah. Just tell her I'll call. -Definitely.

261
00:43:16,794 --> 00:43:41,752
ANDY (recorded): You've reached Andy Bouchard at Eighth Summit Trekking. Please leave a message. Andy, I'm on my way home. Please don't leave yet. I'm... (sniffs) I'm so sorry. I-I need to see you. (crying): I've... I've been off. I've... And it's not you. It's... it-it's been me, and... I'm so sorry. You and the kids are... are the best thing that ever happened to me. Okay, I'll see you soon. (sobs)

262
00:43:56,934 --> 00:43:58,635
No.

263
00:44:40,110 --> 00:44:43,213
My gosh. -Oh! -Mmm.

264
00:44:46,316 --> 00:44:52,689
I got your message. I was worried I'd missed you. I got another flight for tomorrow.

265
00:44:58,996 --> 00:45:00,030
Here.

266
00:45:07,237 --> 00:45:08,939
What's this?

267
00:45:09,006 --> 00:45:33,163
This is a fire puja. It's for purification. It's Tibetan Buddhism. So, what you do is, you... write down the thing that you want purified, and then you dip the paper in some butter-- or margarine. Okay. So you write your affliction. And go.

268
00:45:36,834 --> 00:45:46,243
Oh, and if it involves a person, you draw a circle of protection around the name. Why? Because burning a person's name is not a good thing.

269
00:45:54,818 --> 00:45:57,154
Now, we never mention this to each other ever again.

270
00:45:58,222 --> 00:46:03,927
(chuckling): My God, this is so much better than that mirror exercise. (paper tears)

271
00:46:06,196 --> 00:46:12,836
-Okay. -Okay. Dip it in here. -It's warm. -Okay.

272
00:46:15,906 --> 00:46:22,079
Okay. -You ready? -Yeah. One, two, three. Go.

273
00:46:34,958 --> 00:46:36,860
What happens now?

274
00:46:39,263 --> 00:46:40,297
I go sell the business.

275
00:46:41,965 --> 00:46:43,267
And when I come home...

276
00:46:44,368 --> 00:46:46,937
...you and I have a fresh start.

277
00:47:15,032 --> 00:47:17,000
Hey.

278
00:47:19,436 --> 00:47:21,438
Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org